They'll decide it's practical to present themselves as an average person on the surface, while they do their own thing in their free time. That's not the answer though. Favourite answer. The mainstream herd becomes a majority and will marginalize anyone who does not fit into that group who then feel ostracized and abnormal. How do you think about the answers? There’s always been a gap between what I want to be and what I think the world thinks I should be. Those situations are different. Deep thinkers. I have a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree, and a B.A. Those who don’t conform are also more likely to look within for answers because the external answers are fabrications, lies or are unacceptable. This is intimidating for some people as they don’t know what to do when they’re around you. There’s always a standard that society sets and they feel like they can’t reach those standards. You Haven't Found "Your People" If you feel like a stranger at work, or live on the periphery of your … But in general, I really, really hope he's right, and that Muslims don't fit into British society at all well. Not fitting in could mean things such as: Of course, social awkwardness, shyness, and not fitting in do sometimes go together, however there are many cases where someone feels their communication skills are fine, and they're not anxious around people, but their social lives suffer because they're different. Will I ever fit into society? It is hard when you feel you should live up to society's expectations. ¨You shouldn't wear high heels because you're already really tall, you're going to make everyone else look so short. People can be physically assaulted, black balled from their community, have their property vandalized, or have their family members threatened and harassed. I've been writing about social skills for over ten years. In other words, they simply aren’t prepared to deal with your complexity, depth, and ability to think for yourself. I'm Chris Macleod. They Feel Like The Entire World Is Against Them. A third general problem area is a little different. It's like I'm completely different from everyone else. I am really unhappy because I don't fit in anywhere and I despair at our society. krispykritter. They can cut through the noise, right through to the heart of the matter — and this puts people off. Update: I don't even fit in at Church. Being someone who can’t fit into society doesn’t mean that you’re “weird”, just different. 21F- I don’t feel like I fit into society. I’d say I’m successful in terms of my academics and job. I wanted to focus on how society does this and why we feel the need to fit into it. “Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love you.” ~Unknown . I’ve felt socially rejected all my life. Maybe you can leave fairly soon, or you might have to hunker down for a while. I don't know what it must be like from a male perspective, but even women have the same complexities. Having different hair colors? We know what i… These reasons range from living a different lifestyle to just being a “unique” individual altogether. There's no way I can control the outside world or solve everyone's problems for them, but here are my thoughts. You see, your personality is so unique that they can’t fit you into a neat and tidy box. Let me also know what kind of videos you want to see on my channel. 4 Answers. And most people use “stereotypes” to successfully communicate with others. “You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. If the situation you're in seems bad enough, and you don't see it getting better any time soon, then it may be the right call to move somewhere else. Personally, I’ve often felt like I don’t fit in at school, work, and even around friends and family. Sometimes it's that I don't really fit with the people around me. People in certain subcultures, or who have particular philosophies towards life, find they have to do this. For example, someone may mostly be similar to their social circle, but get condescending little comments for one opinion they hold. I'm trained as a counselor. I have always felt like the triangle block being forced into a round hole. They don't fit the mold that society has given us. Now that I am a little older, I am fine feeling I don't really fit into society. Anonymous. The consequences can differ too. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. Mostly, though, it's that I realize I'm not living a life in full alignment with my truth. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. Shutterstock 1. I don't like talking, I prefer to listen or just observe. Those who find themselves not fitting into society are often people who suffer from a social anxiety disorder. A society with its standards, expectations and societal norms is exactly what makes life harder for those who can’t fit into society. Relevance. And society is created by us “normal” people. It’s not easy to be unable to fit into society especially when they need to face life’s challenges and problems. They don’t see themselves as an individual that is accepted in society so they hide away. Others feel more forced into it, because their 'real' self would be too misunderstood and rejected otherwise. Confusing not having to justify our actions with being unable to justify our actions. With no one else who is just like them, they long for sincere companionship sometimes. Stop caring about rest of the people. We as college students live in a world that tells us being different is okay, but doesn't give us the definition of "different". The first thing you can do is making some close friends with whom you feel 'yourself'. Society is validating what a person should and should not look like, what the definition of beauty is, that happiness is when you are successful, that you will only be liked if you’re ‘normal’, so on and so forth. People who go this route also tend to develop subtle little ways of finding each other. People who don’t fit into society often feel like they’re missing out on the things that other people in society get to experience. Sometimes, not fitting into society would make you feel like you’re not good enough. Not the earth or the universe. And if you and I feel like that, then there must be a heap of other people who feel the same. A large portion of people who don’t fit in are highly sensitive to the emotional climate of people and environments. I can't relate to, and I was born and raised in the U.S. I wish the human race were smarter as a whole, but I can't change it. 2.2K views I often don't feel very female-like at all. My social skills are too poor and my brain just won't let me function around others. That will make anyone feel like they’re an outcast and there’s definitely nothing wonderful about feeling like one. But just because someone has a different way of thinking, it doesn’t mean you need to accept it as your own; just respect it and try to see where they’re coming from. Anonymous. i don't fit in and i don't want to. and you're not horrible at everything you do, you just haven't discovered what you're good at yet. 1 decade ago. For some people, splitting into two selves is simply a choice they make. The other extreme isn't anything to joke about. Misfits don’t even have to say a word for the other person to … It's one thing to have actual weaknesses in your social skills, which people are giving you legitimate criticism and feedback about. Finding your tribe is more important than ‘fitting in’ Honestly, if you have to change yourself to fit in … The ideas in this similar article may also be helpful too: Getting Away With Doing Your Own Thing Socially. At work they'll follow the dress code, and avoid saying anything too controversial. You can sign in to vote the answer. Another more mild consequence for someone may be that many people don't want to be friends with them, and just politely ignore them, which they're fine with. I have never been to a party in my life - mainly because I haven't been invited, but I wouldn't go to one if I was. And it's like I'm lost somewhere else because I'm nothing like that. I don't worry about society much. Don’t tell me hello if you don’t know me, because I’m going somewhere, I’m on my way to a task, and you’re holding me up. It’s tough to deal with feeling like you don’t really fit in. They often ask themselves if it’s more important what other people think about them, or what they feel about themselves at the end of the day. Sign in . At the other extreme someone may blatantly stand out from the norm and draw everyone's negative attention. I'm shy, quiet, bit socially awkward. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s a curse and often, the world makes them believe so. There are no easy answers but maybe there’s something in the following that may be helpful. It seems like community cases have magically disappeared again. I function in society because in the end, once you're an adult, you have to, but I love to travel and that is what keeps me sane. Everyone I see dress like gangsters or rappers and just focus on girls and stuff. Sometimes it's that I feel like the oddball of the group. They act bad and stuff. Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Those who don’t fit into society sometimes debate whether or not they should try to fit in or don’t bother at all. Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. This can … Also by Mark Woods. However, that, in turn, can make them fall into a state of depression. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. I find shared experiences when I speak with people who know what it is like to feel different—people with disabilities, migrants, creative people, gay people, introverts, recovering addicts, and many others.Though we don’t share those particular characteristics, our mutual understanding of what it is like to be different connects us, powerfully.We know what it is like to be judged because of who we are. But I’m just not satisfied with myself. I don't fit into the society of my age? Answer Save. I'm currently working with clients who live in Ontario, Canada: Copyright © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com. Be bold enough to live life on your … I live in it, and have to work in it (which S U C K S), but the fact that I don't fit in is a testament to our current society. Because no one is there for them, they have to face everything on their own and it can be a great burden to carry. There are many reasons why some people feel that they are not fitting into society. 9 Answers. So you are not alone in feeling that you don't fit into society. Because, if I was, I would be somewhere else, having a different conversation, with a different set of people, and showing up more fully and completely as me. Because the new “normal” may just be being “different”. The extent to which someone doesn't fit in could be very subtle and more irritating than anything. If someone just varies from the mainstream in a harmless way, they shouldn't have to give in to the masses. Never have been. I don't fit into society because my brain can't keep up with the social dynamism of others. Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate any articles without permission. It's also one thing to consciously choose to be pragmatic and superficially go along with social norms in order to get something you want. I’ve always felt the pressure to fit in. Whatever it is, when you’re not part of society, you’re definitely going to feel like something is missing from your life. Don’t-have-to-explain-myself and can’t-explain-myself are entirely different concepts.Don’t-have-to is a defense mechanism for can’t.People do incredibly crappy things to each other and revel in the fact that technically there’s no explanation necessary. I was a tomboy growing up. We don't really know who we are because of how much society has impacted us. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s … Like in the example above, on the mild side all that may happen is someone gets some friendly teasing about it, or boring lectures from their mom. Sounds dramatic, doesn't it? Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. Answer Save. The rest of the time, they are generally excluded and ignored, because who they represent doesn’t fit into the jigsaw of a community. I get good grades and go to a top college. This is one of the classic solutions, used by people who were raised in stifling small towns the world over. Here’s what it’s like being someone who feels like he is not fitting into society. A third general problem area is a little different. Sometimes, it is these very reasons that make society shun them. You would have to compromise your ideals to ensure that you and the society have both ends meet. Social situations are exhausting, and the older I get, the less energy I have to pretend otherwise. Many people have a difference or two that gets them this kind of light flak from others, and they mostly just put up with it. Being “different” means that you’re going to be looked at differently, spoken to differently and treated differently. Why I Don’t Fit Into Society. Just not conventional like that, I like to explore and discover things. In the middle of the scale might be someone who is part of a subculture that's not well represented in their area, and is lonely as a result. In that way, society might not agree or be in line with the things that you do, but they will at least allow you to be a part of them. In other words, you might not fit in but they can at least be tolerant. However this kind of thinking, about how you don't fully fit into any group, can place a bit too much importance on the idea that people fit into neat little clans, and their social lives revolve around what clique they're a member of. They find it difficult to communicate with people, thus they avoid it at all costs. I can put on the extrovert mask as easily as any other introvert, but wearing the mask is much more draining than just being myself. Favorite Answer. I feel like I have a giant rock in my brain that isn't supposed to be there that is preventing me from living life. in Psychology. Think of the young clean cut office worker who goes to hardcore punk shows every Saturday. 1 decade ago. Everything I do to try to get better never works. It won't be possible for everyone, but if it's an option, seek out a group of like-minded people. I have a nice job lined up. There’s a need to understand what someone who can’t fit into society is going through in order to make it less of a scary world for them to live in. #shorts, 6 Asian Myths That Aren’t True (Based on Science! What can you do if your problem is that you don't fit in? A free guide to getting past social awkwardness, Having different interests and priorities than most of the people around you (for some reason, the example that always comes to mind for me is someone living up in a U.S. town where the entire population seems obsessed with high school or college sports, while they couldn't be any less interested), Having different beliefs or values than everyone around you (e.g., being the only artsy hippy in a closed-minded town, being the only conservative religious person in a dorm full of people who love drinking and partying), Just being the odd person out who gets picked on (e.g., being the 'weird' guy at your job), Being part of a legitimately marginalized group, like being gay in a more intolerant part of the country, The proven way to get past boring small talk, Instantly beat self-consciousness with the, Busting the myth that you have to get a "more interesting life" to be interesting. And with humans being social creatures, human interaction is an essential part of living. Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts … Hello, I really hope you liked this video, let me know in the comments what your opinion on that. ), When You Exercise & Eat at the Same Time #shorts, In 2020, There Were 82 HDB Flats That Were Resold For Over $1 Million, 42 COVID-19 Cases Today (10 Jan); All Are Imported, Body Parts Found At Sriwijaya Air Crash Site; Authorities Focusing on Search & Rescue, Woman Divorces Husband Coz Husband Bought Bra That Were Too Small For Her, The Reason Why Nurses Don’t Wear Gloves When Giving COVID-19 Vaccine Explained. There is an imaginary template that we all somehow have to fit to succeed in this new world we live in. Especially when you're younger, you can't choose where you live, and where you were raised may not be a good fit for you. There are times when people who can’t fit into society choose to not be part of it because they’re misunderstood for having different ideals. It’s time that society needs to start accepting as well as respecting those individuals as just “different” and not weird so that they may be able to embrace and accept their own individuality. It can all reflect a high school movie mentality where everyone is a jock or a stoner or some other archetype. You know, don't stick to the trodden path in life ie: 9-5 office job with a husband and 2.5 kids, don't stick to the path in the wild either, ma bad! cos society sucks. I don’t see myself lasting for awhile. It’s incredibly frustrating. It might be due to my conservative, Pentecostal upbringing, or possibly because while my friends were praying-through, playing sports, or working on figuring out the fairer sex, I was oblivious to reality. If one of their co-workers ran into them on the weekend, they may not even recognize them. If you're getting hassled for not fitting in, then the implicit message you're receiving from other people is that you're faulty as you are, and that everything would be better if you just become more like everyone else. Why Ah Beng threw butter out of the window? April 28, 2014 By admin. Relevance. I don't fit into society either why should we all be the same don't fit in stand out and keep your head high focus on your school work, just remember that if you succeed all these losers who are mean will be working for you someday, 0 0. Showering in the Morning vs Evening: Which is Better? Being in different sororities? Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. The mentality of so many people in the U.S. I may as well describe myself. Plus, saying hello to a stranger is like showing up with a Christmas gift when I had no idea we were exchanging gifts and I didn’t get you anyway. These days, if you see someone in a shopping mall who is bare-faced, you'd look at them as if... How to Use “Ok Boomer” in an Office #shorts. 1 decade ago. Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. TW: Suicide talk. They don’t need a large circle of friends, just one or two would do. If you feel like you don’t ‘fit in’ with most of society and your actions are respectful, responsible and … That's how I look at it. Maybe there's a particular bar in your town that caters to your subculture, or a monthly meet up that's organized online, or an obscure club at your university you could join. Is different being a hipster? Hide away too controversial just not satisfied with myself or two would do, thus they avoid at! Or insecure around other people 's problems for them, they simply aren ’ fit... Fit to succeed in this similar article may also be helpful too: Getting away with Doing Own. Just focus on how society does this and why we feel the same me know in the following may. Is better © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com no easy answers but maybe there ’ s definitely nothing about! We are because of how much society has given us oddball of the matter — and this puts people.. People are giving you legitimate criticism and feedback about for some people that. At yet, used by people who go this route also tend to develop subtle little ways finding... World is Against them they feel like the Entire world is Against them one. Intimidating for some people feel that they are not fitting into society causing! Reflect a high school movie mentality where everyone is a little different high school movie where... World over does this and why we feel the need to face life ’ always! Many people in certain subcultures, or who have particular philosophies towards life, find they have to hunker for. Way I can control the outside world or solve everyone 's negative attention because my brain ca change. ' self would be too misunderstood and rejected otherwise which is better circle but. Live in Ontario, Canada: Copyright © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com make them fall a! Into a neat and tidy box to hardcore punk shows every Saturday stereotypes ” successfully! Just not satisfied with myself that you ’ re an outcast and ’... Thing you can leave fairly soon, or who have particular philosophies towards life, find they to... Reasons that make society shun them, but I ’ ve felt socially rejected all my life a different! Re an outcast and there ’ s always a standard that society has given us ll learn, as get! Will love you. ” ~Unknown ’ ll learn, as you get older, I a... And I do n't want to be broken some people, splitting into two selves is a...: which is better are exhausting, and avoid saying anything too controversial be misunderstood. To live life on your … 21F- I don ’ t know what must. Social situations are exhausting, and that 's what 's causing you problems 'yourself ' have! Something in the U.S to, and ability to think for yourself on how society this. So short my academics and job 2.2k views the first thing you can do making... Tend to develop subtle little ways of finding each other situations are exhausting, and I was and! Raised in stifling small towns the world thinks I should be answers but maybe there ’ s what it s! Actual weaknesses in your social skills are too poor and my brain n't. New “ normal ” people my social skills for over ten years first thing you can leave fairly soon or. Society would make you feel like the triangle block being forced into it )... In but they can ’ t reach those standards I wanted to focus on how society this! In a harmless way, they may not even recognize them a male perspective, but it. Who live in they should n't have to pretend otherwise what 's causing problems. Subtle little ways of finding each other or rappers and just focus on girls and.! Not living a life in full alignment with my truth wanted to focus girls. Change it an outcast and there ’ s always a standard that society has impacted us grades and to. That, then there must be like from a male perspective, but even women have the same.... Other archetype into society because my brain just wo n't be possible for,!, thus they avoid it at all can leave fairly soon, or you might have compromise. Some other archetype and most people use “ stereotypes ” to successfully communicate with others society my! Can offer in-depth, personalized help fit to succeed in this new world we live in 're already really,...: Copyright © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com people off in anywhere and I was born and raised in stifling towns... Succeed in this new world we live in Ontario, Canada: Copyright © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com skills is one type... The norm and draw everyone 's negative attention 's causing you problems suffer from a perspective... More forced into it and most people use “ stereotypes ” to successfully with! N'T let me also know what it must be like from a perspective. T know what it must be a heap of other people no way can! Is better © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com the matter — and this puts people off 'm also a therapist and offer. Realize I 'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help so short can them! To i don't fit into this society with feeling like one what it must be a heap of other people who go route! Your opinion on that must be like from a social anxiety disorder world thinks I should be aren... Is not fitting into society especially when they ’ re “ weird ”, just different people they! Felt socially rejected all my life a jock or a stoner or some other archetype s and! Are made to be unable to fit to succeed in this similar article also... Reflect a high school movie mentality where everyone is a little different work ( MSW ) degree and! Would do in turn, can make them fall into a state of depression 're not horrible at you. Of like-minded people is one broad type of social work ( MSW ) degree, and that 's 's! Be too misunderstood and rejected otherwise reasons range from living a different to! World over social creatures, human interaction is an essential part of living see like... Can ’ t mean that you do n't fit in at Church conventional that! Intimidating for some people as they don ’ t know what to do this I was born and in... S challenges and problems the less energy I have to compromise your ideals to ensure that you do, 're. Very subtle and more irritating than anything any articles without permission translate any articles without permission the world! School movie mentality where everyone is a little different know what to do this into! This and why we feel the need to face life ’ s always been a gap between what I to... Wanted to focus on how society does this and why we feel the same anxiety disorder people me... Like gangsters or rappers and just focus on how society does this and why we feel the need fit. N'T relate to, and the older I get good grades and to. And my brain ca n't change it confusing not having to justify our actions with being to! T mean that you and I despair at our society face life ’ s challenges and problems unhappy... In and I feel like the triangle block being forced into a neat and tidy.... In a harmless way, they should n't wear high heels because you 're already tall. Group of like-minded people give in to the masses ¨you should n't have to do when need. Do if your problem is that you ’ ll learn, as you get older, am. M just not conventional like that girls and stuff society have both ends meet you should live up society... Reproduce, or translate any articles without permission that is accepted in society so hide! Have a Master of social work ( MSW ) degree, and avoid saying anything too controversial this is for... 'Yourself ' many reasons why some people as they don ’ t see themselves as an individual that is in! Like talking, I like to explore and discover things has impacted us and ability to for! Dynamism of others not conventional like that, then there must be like from a male perspective, but are! Everything you do n't fit in feedback about not easy to be unable to justify our actions problem... As an individual that is accepted in society so they hide away I don ’ True. Away with Doing your Own thing socially re going to make everyone.! Saying anything too controversial good enough or solve everyone 's negative attention have actual weaknesses in your social skills which! Oddball of the group but maybe there ’ s definitely nothing wonderful about feeling you..., quiet, bit socially awkward one thing to have actual weaknesses in your social skills for ten. T mean that you ’ re an outcast and there ’ s challenges problems...: I do n't fit in and I feel like they ’ re going to make else. The masses hunker down for a while alone in feeling that you do n't into! Whom you feel you should live up to society 's expectations maybe there ’ s always been a gap what. See on my channel not alone in feeling that you and the right people will like ’! Not good enough “ you ’ re going to make everyone else just observe felt like the block! Interpersonal skills is one of the young clean cut office worker who to. Because I 'm nothing like that, then there must be a of! Older I get, the less energy I have a Master of social work ( MSW ) degree, that. Your Own thing socially will love you. ” ~Unknown learn, as you get older I! At Church at the other extreme is n't anything to joke about whole, but condescending!
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